“I could put it down, but kept picking it back up”

I get asked, “Are you psychic?”
Kind of… a little. I’m not very good at it. Messages come in like they do for all of us—sometimes as a cosmic kick in the pants, more often with glitchy reception. Like an idiot, there were many helpful hacks I ignored.

Blowing off stellar advice from the Great Wherever does make for a wealth of cautionary tales that are always highly amusing… to other people.

You’ll race on sailboats, ski on acid, live with showgirls in Las Vegas and get a pro gigolo for a birthday present. You’ll over-beverage, find recovery and date oh so many wrong guys.

I discovered the truest, most abiding love happens when our spirit guides show up in dog suits.

incompetent psychic book cover
Buy your signed copy direct from the author at
ArtByMernie on Etsy
Author’s high quality paperbacks are printed in England and ship quick the next day.
$19 includes postage in US
312 pages with 20 b&w illustrations
Published Sept 29, 2020
ISBN: 978-1-7354183-0-8
note: Unsigned copies are available as print-on-demand everywhere books are sold online except amazon. (4-6 weeks wait this way)

eReader version is fully illustrated with colorful paintings that inspired the stories.
$4.99 at eleven popular sites including Apple, Kobo, Everand, Thalia, Smashwords, Hoopla and more… but not kindle.

Or request a copy anywhere books are sold.

Suggested retail price $15

ISBN: 978-1-7354183-0-8

Readers say -

“Better than I expected it to be. The dead people’s voices are good.”
— First woman who read an early draft
(retired NYC book editor)


“In this truly delightful and inspiring memoir Mernie shares funny, forthright accounts of her unconventional life. This is the story of a woman who has lived full-out, made challenging choices and gone into places where her angels feared to tread (and went anyway to help her out). Ultimately, her story offers a rich, thought-provoking—perhaps even healing read that will inspire you to look at your own life with greater appreciation of the masterpiece that every life ultimately produces.”
— Second woman who read a better draft
(another retired NYC book editor)


“From an adventurous life comes a fascinating memoir. ’The Incompetent Psychic’ in my humble opinion, is quite an engaging success . . . an intelligent and compelling read that hit home for me. Reminded me of Tom Wolf, Tom Robbins & Hunter Thompson in a blender I couldn’t stop reading it.”
— First man who read it

“Mernie’s honest and magical storytelling is complemented by the fantastical characters that inhabit her journey”
— First librarian who read it

“Brilliant! I absolutely love it. Love the dogs, the Celestial pauses, but mostly the progression of recovery and growth. A huge part was the family-like planets circling around the burning out/burning bright star that is Mernie.”
— Fourth woman who read it

“I love Mernie’s literary voice, her self deprecatory style, her uninhibited way of being, her acerbic humor, her art and her love for the planet and its inhabitants. I like that she has the balls to put her story out there. I suspect you’re going to thoroughly enjoy this. You might want to hang out with her. She’s kinda magical.”
— Fifth woman who read it

“Aghast, engrossed, thoroughly engaged and delighted. It had me by the short hairs all the way through.”
— Second man who read it